The guy across the street showed up at our door with his sister the other day. He introduced her to me. She was bearing a gift. The gift was a bag of sugar. I didn’t know it was sugar right then but might’ve guessed it since it was wrapped in white paper with the fancy red decoration printed on it and her name written in calligraphy across the front. Getting surprise gifted sugar doesn’t happen every day, not even every year come to think of it. I don’t think it ever happened to me when living in the States. It happens in Japan though, and if it happens now it doesn’t confuse me like it once did. I know what it’s all about now. I have for some time but boy did it ever confuse me the first time it happened.
That was just shy of 20 years ago. That was soap. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the soap-gift bearer who arrived at the apartment I was living in back then. It wasn’t all that long after I’d landed at Narita Airport for the first time with no more than 100 Japanese words in my head, and 90% of those were karate terms. Thus my ability to communicate anything other than "I’m choking" or "Where's the toilet!!!" was next to non-existent. So there I was, frustrated as hell over my inability to explain to this persistent woman at my door that I don’t want to buy anything. (The only thing I could figure is she was peddling a product so useless she kept it hidden in pretty white paper wrapping) I tried my best to say no thank you, which I thought I had down pat from my little survival Japanese dictionary, but she just kept talking and pushing this package on me.
The package was wrapped in white and had kanji on it, none of which I could read of course. It was much like the package of sugar that I got today, only I didn’t know it was soap. I didn’t know what the heck it was. I said “wakaranai” (I don’t understand) or I must’ve said that at least since that was my go to phrase soon after arriving in the foreigner-less, non-English-friendly Japanese countryside. Alas it was by saying that so much that I eventually came to realize that saying “I don’t understand” in the language one is claiming not to understand is in fact demonstrating some ability to communicate in that language, which usually just makes the native speakers of the language speak faster. Go figure!
So that first person at my door insisting I take a white paper wrapped package of something experience ended with me holding the package and the lady walking off backwards while bowing repetitively (and still talking). I figured I’d bought it—figured the bill would be coming so what the hell might’s well open it and what the…!
Soap?
I can’t recall how many days or weeks or months passed till I learned what the heck that was all about but happy to tell now I know. Now when someone arrives at my door with a package like that I introduce myself and any family who may be nearby and try to think of something kind to say to make the person feel welcome. I’ve even been on the go door to door and hand out stuff end now. Just about six years ago my wife and I went around the neighborhood knocking on doors and handing out our own white paper wrapped gifts with our names printed on them all pretty calligraphy style. I’m not exactly sure what all is appropriate to hand out for this little Japanese ritual. Based on things we’ve received I can say soap, hand towels, soy sauce or sugar or trash bags are all okay. Oh yeah, and cookies. I think cookies are at least. That’s what my wife chose for us to give to folks.
The ritual is called “Go-aisatsu”. Which is a formal way to say greeting. It’s what folks in these parts do when they move into a new hood. The guy across the street from us’s sister bought the house next to his. She’s a single mom, divorced with high school daughter. Seems nice enough and gave us a bag of sugar so we’re off to a good start I’d say.
Still I’ll never forget that first time though. Soap! How much am I going to have to pay for this? And why soap? What do they think I stink? Is this some kind of racial harassment? Some passive aggressive way of saying "Go home ya stinky gaijin!" (foreigner). No. It's just a local custom--one in a long list of quirky little Japanese rituals I've had to learn.
It's just ご挨拶 “Go-aistatsu”
Just a friendly way to greet the new neighbors when moving into a new hood.
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