It's Our Call

And just like that people of all religious affiliations, all political ideologies, ethnicities, nationalities, all ages, all sexual preferences, all genders, all sizes and shapes and smells, began taking action for the good of the species. Ironically enough it’s also good for maintaining the earth’s ability to sustain human life. 

The appearance of a virus has resulted in billions of people not driving, flying, or shopping. Scores of factories stopped polluting the soil and releasing CO 2 into the air. A drastic reduction in our collective carbon footprint, for the time being at least, has been the result. A virus has done what no human has yet been able to do on such a broad scale. It’s shocked us into realizing how connected we are. It’s woken us to how easily life as we know it can grind to a halt. 

It’s almost as if the earth got fed up with watching us trash the place and treat each other as “other”—tired of waiting around for us to realize we’re in this life thing together—of watching us treat one another and the earth itself as objects to be exploited for the gain of a given few. 

“Enough!” she said, and took matters into her own hands. 

“Still walling each other off and spilling each other’s blood are you? Still hellbent on sucking oil and coal out of my skin? On butchering my forests and jungles? Fine! Deal with this!”

Then out came a teeny, tiny, tiny little virus.  

“And there’s more where that came from!” She said. 

I think it’s a nice of her to go so easy on us.  She certainly doesn’t need us. She doesn’t even need the ones who work to “save the earth”.

Save the earth. 

It’s kinda silly when you think about it. The earth’s gonna be just fine for another 5 to seven billion years. She’ll carry on business as usual until the sun starts dying and becomes a red giant—a swollen star that will grow till its surface engulfs the earth’s orbit.  

But that won't come for a while yet. The earth was here billions of years before us and will remain for billions more with or without us.  She’s seen life forms come and go, come and go… Planet of humans, planet of the apes or planet of the cockroaches even. The earth’s fine no matter what species is its so-called “ruler”.  Being human and all, and especially since producing more humans with my DNA, I hope it’ll remain us for a while. 

But if we can't get our shit together. If we sputter out. 

I’m rooting for crows! 

The British Lecturer Alan Watts said “the earth peoples” like “an apple tree apples”.  Our bodies are of the same stuff as hers and for the time that we’re here we’re “the earth’s eyes and ears”, as Joseph Campbell put it. With the way we’ve wrecked the place it’s a wonder she hasn’t rid herself of us by now. Maybe she’s got a soft spot in her core for us? Personally I think we amuse her, walking around all high and mighty with deeds to show what part of her we own. 

“Oh you own me do you?” 

She says with a bemused smile. 

“Boy, I remember when your golf course was a dumping ground for tyrannosaurus  turds!”.  

Still, we've done things that no other species could’ve even imagined doing. Heck we can imagine as no other species could. So maybe we're more interesting to her.  Unlike those others though, we’ve become a bit too big for our britches. Thus her sending out a wee little virus to remind us how fragile and connected we are, and how much our species depends on her. 

So. 

Do we heed this warning of hers? 

Or do we refuse to learn anything and go right back to collective suicidal life as usual once it all passes?

It’s our call. 

Wall Street shitting itself again. Late night thoughts...

I know just a wee bit more than jack diddly about the stock market (and rumor has it jack diddly knows jack squat) so don’t pay much heed to it’s highs and lows. That said since running a small private school here and having smarts enough to know if economy is good more moms and dads have cash to spend on things like English lessons for their kids, so like most other first world country dwellers I like to see economy running strong as that increases chances we’ll have more students—more money in our pockets. 

So not excited to click on news before calling it a Monday night here only to see stock market taking yet another nose dive as Monday starts across the sea. I can’t help but wonder as I do though…. The stock market was falling so bad there was a 15 minute halt put on trading. It was the third time for this emergency break to get pulled in the past six days. I also recall reading that the Federal Reserve bank injected 1.5 trillion bucks into the market last Thursday. One point freak’n five trillion? I can’t even count that high! 

True I don’t pay that much attention to Wall Street but I do read quite a bit about how things are going on main street, especially about the average Joe and Jolene workers there. Enough I’ve read to know that a booming stock market isn’t a sign that everyone is booming.  e.g. The stock market's record high can have absolutely no effect whatsoever on Julio the cook and Melissa waitress’ hourly wages. I’ve been around long enough to know, too, that if their funds start plummeting for a myriad of unforeseen personal tragedy reasons, they have no 15 minute emergency brake to pull. What’s more is a good portion of the population screams “Socialism!” if or when there’s talk of increasing minimum wage, giving them affordable healthcare or housing assistance, forgiving student loans they can’t pay off, etc and on and on ad infinite heartbreak. And then of course there's the Republicans constant hewing away at the few programs there are to give the lesser off a fighting chance. 

These are just observations that make me wonder. I was going to say ask, but I think I know the answer. I wonder or want to ask why some see government injecting ungodly amounts of money into Wall Street as appropriate or even expected, but injecting far lesser amounts into helping “the least of these” not so well off backstreets of Main Street folks isn’t.  

I think the answer though is they’re valued about as much as that woman at the well or those stigmatized Samaritans of eons ago. They’re the marginalized. For far too many far more financially secure folks, those people just don’t matter enough to think about or, worse yet, anyone who does think of them—who asks for fair treatment for them, like say a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the bailout that Wall Street gets—anyone saying things like that will get about the same as that Jewish Carpenter rebel got so many years ago.  Maybe not physically nailed to the tree but figuratively for sure. It’s two separate standards—one for the rich and one for the living paycheck to paycheck.  It’s far from fair. It’s just not right. And so I write. 

COVID-19 TP Shortage Horror in Japan

An unforeseen result of coronavirus fears in Japan has been the panic buying of toilet paper.  I thought it amusing at first; a bunch of crazy bastards standing in line for hours just to buy a limit one per customer package of asswipe?  Seriously? 

I continued to laugh and joke about it all week. 

Then we ran out. 

After going to store after store only to find empty shelves everywhere I finally gave up my search.  

I broke the news to my family. “Sorry guys” I said defeatedly after coming in from checking drugstores all up and down the peninsula for it. 

“Boys, go to the mountain and collect some leaves. We’ll just have to improvise till it becomes available again.”  

Since shelves remained empty for days on end toilet paper was the last thing I expected to find when stopped at Werushia drugstore to grab a rice ball for lunch. Alas, as I exited the aisle I saw it. One sole package of toilet paper in the middle of an empty shelf. I made my way towards it, walking slowly with one hand behind pulling at a cheek to keep them from rubbing together. Open sores had begun to appear on the rash around my bunghole. Apparently leaf toilet paper substitute wasn’t such a good idea after all. 

My heart filled with joyful thoughts of wiping with soft tissue as I walked. Then she appeared. An elderly, purple-haired, mask-clad lady exited the next aisle. I watched in horror as her rabbit eyes zeroed in on the package of pink poopwipe before moving up and meeting mine.  Our looks of surprise quickly changed to fear.  Eyes locked in battle, our angry gaze broke as we each rushed forward to get the last package of starfish fodder. I made it three steps into a run before the pang of oozing ass sores knocked me to my knees. Facedown on the cold drugstore floor, eyes clenched in pain I could hear the walker hit the floor and rapid shuffle of old woman feet

“Pnk shh shh, Pnk shh ssh, Pnk shh shh” 

Her small deft steps were unbelievably quick.  

Lurching forward into a crawl, my last gasp effort to win proved futile. I looked up in defeat as the centenarian loaded the last package of pink poop paper into the small basket atop her walker. 

“taihen desu ne!” (it’s difficult) she said in a a gruff, yet sing-songy voice.

“Hai, so desu ne” Yes, yes it is I murmured. 

Pnk shhhhh shhhh, Pnk shhhhh shhhhhhh...

The sound of her slow, victorious shuffling to the register faded down the aisle as I slowly rose to my feet and made my way to find ass rash cream, all the while wondering what kind of leaves are best to wipe with.